Let’s talk about Fat, girls (yes i said the f-word)

Ah when worlds collide!

This blog is actually a collision of many worlds-or we can call it a merging of affiliations. I am a Muslim. A lover of clothes. And a fat woman (more on this descriptor in a bit).

I mentioned in this previous post why I started this blog. I needed a space to talk about style (a particular Muslimah style-that of a hijabi) in a body affirming way.

When I say body-affirming, I mean specifically centering the body of larger women. Fat women.

I named this blog Modest Plus because, being aware of the extent of my digressive nature, I knew I would talk about “modest” clothing for Muslim women who cover but I also knew I would eventually venture off into other topics. The plus also gestures to the term plus-size often used to describe clothing for women who wear anything size 14 or above.

The funny thing is that I don’t personally or politically use the term plus-size to describe myself. I call myself fat. Yes, I do.

The interesting thing about being a person in the modern world is that you are exposed to multiple perspectives. Some of these perspectives can be useful to you and some you throw away. Since I was a teen one perspective that impressed itself on my tiny brain was that of size, or more narrowly, fat acceptance.

The radical idea that bodies come in all different shapes and sizes and the idea that this must be accepted without shaming any type of body.

This also includes not making assumptions about any bodies. Not thinking someone is anorexic because they are naturally thin. Not assuming that a fat person eats all day long and never exercises. Or that they’re going to keel over and die any second!

When I am not writing about maxi dresses and jewelry I read a lot of science articles and books specifically about weight. What I have found is that issues of weight, fat or weight loss are more complicated than Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers or The Biggest Loser would have you believe.

I have found that dieting does more harm to the body than good. Based on my research I have pledged a no-diet rule for my body and embraced the proven science of Health at Every Size (HAES). You might have noticed the book on my bookshelf but click here to see more about HAES.

The funny thing is that many of the fashion blogs that I read are loud and proud about their fat acceptance. Young, Fat and Fabulous, Musings of a Fatshionista, Fatshionista flickr, Fatshionable, Saks in the City are all up in your face with their love of their bodies.

The second funny thing is that I hesitated to claim the word fat on this blog. I didn’t want to scare the modest or Muslim girls away. Those who might claim themselves to be a little thicker or curvy or plus sized but would stab you in the heart if you ever called them fat.

Guess what, I understand that sentiment. When a term is used to demoralize or dehumanize a person-he or she will resist and resent it. And let’s be real- fat is a word used to make a woman feel ugly or worthless. Sigh.

So I didn’t throw the term fat out there because moving in Muslim circles for most of my life I know that wearing hijab or abaya or long sleeves does not make you immune to having serious body image issues. In fact, many Muslimahs I know are hyper critical of their looks, weight and, although sad to say, other Muslimahs’ weight, clothes and looks.

And this has got me thinking. Why keep something all to myself? I mean we are all grown women up in here (lol). I am a Muslimah and a bonafide size acceptance warrior. You can love it or shove it!

BUT there might be one woman or teenage girl out there reading this- Gorgeous yet emotionally devastated by the injustice that assumes she is ugly or lazy because she is fat.

Educate yourself. Accept yourself. Love yourself. Live your life. ❤

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5 Comments to “Let’s talk about Fat, girls (yes i said the f-word)”

  1. The world has had us believe that fat equals ugly and lazy and smelly and disgusting. That is the reason that we hate the word fat. But you are right. I took call myself fat. But that doesn’t mean I am putting myself down…anymore. It just is what it is.

    I mean I could have called my blog The Fat Hijabi 🙂 and I was. What’s wrong with that? Nothing except what you said. People may see that title and make a face to themselves, not really knowing that being a fat hijabi really is not all that bad.

    You know, I use my treadmill 3 times a week, and do boxing nearly every night with the hubby. This has been my routine for a long time. I walk everywhere. Some weeks I lose a little weight, others I stay the same. If I were to stop the exercise, I know that I would regularly gain. That is just the way that my body is wired. If I hate my body, I hate God, for God gave me my body. And that, I will not do.

    Great post

  2. Salaam Sis,

    Great post! I think so many of us women suffer so much to love ourselves and accept our bodies as they are. I think it is so important for us to accept ourselves and eachother 🙂 Love Ur blog!

  3. Your awesome mashallah. I found you by way of Hijabtrendz. You know what I admire about you? You come across very intelligent, down to earth and positive. You have done your research about what’s best for your body and going with it. Bravo to you. Too many women instead rely on the media to tell them what’s healthy and attractive. You are absolutely right-health is not determined by weight. Activity level, what you eat (even when you eat) and genes make up for a most things. I’m also loving your outfits of the day and all of your photos.

  4. Great post, would love to read more on that issue!!!

  5. Nice blog… Love the confidence

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